Understand These ‘Self’ Words To Master Your Life

Understand These ‘Self’ Words To Master Your Life


Self-Awareness is all about being aware of your own thoughts, actions, emotions, goals, habits, and beliefs. Or in simple words, it’s about understanding yourself. Now you might think that why is it important to understand yourself? 
Why you should know about your thoughts going in your head? Why is it important to understand your triggers of emotions?

Well, the answer is that whatever you think is ‘yours’ is not actually yours. Your habits of watching Netflix, your thoughts about Bollywood controversies, or might be your goal of getting that certificate is not yours, it’s implanted within you by others for their benefit.
Netflix, News channels, Educational institutes are all ‘marketers’, they just wanna use you for their own benefit. These habits, thoughts, actions would have never come into your life without the influence of these people in your life.

Have you ever observed that you have started joking in the voice of your favorite comedian? This happened to me recently and got me amazed to observe that, it explained to me the influencing factor.
We are influenced by the people we are surrounded by. Also, there’s are few sayings like “You are the average of 5 people you are surrounded by” and “Tell me your friends and I’ll tell you your future” tries to explain the essence of the influencing factor in our life.

Even Mahatma Gandhi meant the same when he talked about ‘3 wise monkeys’, it simply means that one must be aware of their senses, whatever you are watching and listening to is influencing your life and also might be taking you away from your real self. 
A self-aware guy knows what thoughts, actions, and habits belong to himself, and then one should make sure that they didn’t come into his life because of someone else’s influence. Don’t worry if you think you are living in self-ignorance, there is a tool to repair this problem i.e”introspection”, talk to yourself and observe your thought daily, practice consciousness, and most importantly meditate.

Curate your thoughts and actions wisely. You’ll eventually start developing self-awareness. Remember, It’s all about coming back to the center.
Watch this video to know more about self-awareness – https://youtu.be/o3QbfpfgEkE


‘Be confident’ is such generic advice that it is hardly useful.  For a change, let’s consider the different types of self-confidence, in order of least to most useful.

1) ‘Unwarranted’ confidence is also known as cocky arrogance.  It’s our teenage boy example from above.  You can be confident when perhaps you shouldn’t be. This type of confidence arises from one or both of the following:

  • Overestimating your abilities
  • Underestimating your opponents or the magnitude of the task in front of you
  • ‘I haven’t learned how to do that skill yet’ (but I will master it)
  • ‘I haven’t won a competition at that level yet (but I will in time)
  • ‘I don’t know how to solve that type of problem yet’ (but with the effort I will figure it out)

Avoid the arrogance of ‘unwarranted’ confidences ‘pasted on’ confidence sparingly, and only to spur you into taking that initial, scary step forward don’t get too comfortable in the confidence of ‘I’ve already done it or you’ll cease to improve Deliberately cultivate the most useful type of confidence – a certainty that ‘effort and time will lead to results obviously, neither of these is a good thing.

It almost always fails, and if you were unfortunate enough to brag about the outcome in advance, then it could be a very humiliating failure. Unwarranted confidence is particularly dangerous when the person who wields it is in a position of power.  Think of the CEO who believes he is infallible and makes risky investment decisions.  Or the fighter who slams his opponent in the media only to find himself slammed when it comes time to get in the ring.

To avoid it, seek out brutally honest feedback about your true abilities.  Ask those who have tackled the same challenge what it is really like.  Stay away from people who give you unrealistic praise – it feels good at the time but you’ll regret it when your unwarranted confidence and inflated ego get harshly punctured in the future (parents are careful on this one – well-meaning praise can often have an unintended outcome.)

2) ‘Pasted on’ confidence there was a period where self-help gurus advised us to go to the mirror every morning and tell ourselves with conviction phrases such as ‘I am amazing’, ‘nobody can beat me, and ‘I can do it.  Let’s call this pasted on confidence.  Deep down we don’t really feel confident, but we are trying to brush a thin layer of confidence over the top of our doubts. It’s pretty obvious that pasted on confidence can crack as easily as an egg – it certainly isn’t resilient or enduring.

However, it can be mildly useful as the impetus for starting something difficult or doing something scary for the first time.  Imagine a first-time actress in the school play who suffers from stage fright.  Telling herself ‘I can do this might be the small extra push she needs to take a couple of steps from the wings to the spotlight.  The same goes for the gymnast who is terrified of trying a new skill on the beam. A little pasted on confidence might help her to try the trick for the first time.  After that, the third type of confidence can kick in…

3) ‘I’ve already done it’ confidence once you’ve done something once, you automatically have more confidence the second time around.  And by the hundredth time you’ve successfully achieved it you don’t even consider the doubts you had at the beginning.  In fact, it may have become so automatic that you’ve reached a level of unconscious competence.

Driving a car is a good example.  Your first time behind the wheel you are likely using the small amount of brainpower not required to focus on the gears, braking, and oncoming traffic to talk to yourself and paste on some confidence.  6 months later you are singing along to the radio, chatting to your friend in the passenger seat, and not even thinking about how to change gears.  You’re supremely confident in what you’re doing because you’ve done it so many times before.

As an athlete, if you’ve won a competition before don’t you feel more confident going into the same event next year?  You already know you are good enough to win.  And the same goes for skills – the first time you try something it’s difficult and you lack confidence.  But with each repetition, your self-confidence grows.
It may seem like this is the most authentic type of confidence.  However, it is only listed as the third most useful type of self-confidence because while it’s good for repeating things we’ve done before, but it doesn’t help us grow.  For that, we need the fourth kind…

4) ‘Effort will lead to results’ confidence this is the most useful type of confidence because it is the fuel that takes us from not being able to do something, to master it.  This type of confidence manifests as a certainty that if I work hard, I will achieve what I’ve set my sights on overtime. Sport is a risky endeavor.  Many, many kids start with dreams of playing professionally or making the Olympics.  Very, very few of those kids actually do.  The ones that do all have this type of confidence.

An unwavering belief that effort and time will lead to success. The same holds for all the most accomplished people in any industry.  In-born talent and overnight success are both myths that make a good story in the media but are utterly untrue.  The truth is that all successful people have put in thousands of hours of work, and bridged the gap from beginner to master with the confidence that ‘my effort, sustained over time, will lead to results’.A good word to bring into your vocabulary when thinking about your goals and skill development is ‘yet’.

This tiny word teaches your brain to develop this type of confidence as it implies that success will happen, it just hasn’t happened yet.
This final type of confidence is built over the long term.  It emerges when you see that the extra time you put into studying resulted in a better grade.  It builds when you perfectly execute a difficult kick that you’ve been staying late to practice at soccer training.  It grows when you struggle to listen to and incorporate your coach’s feedback even though it’s difficult.  It flourishes when each day, week, month, year, and decade of effort accumulates to yield a major victory.
watch this video to know more about self-confidence – https://youtu.be/-41nA20Z7B8


Self-control – The ability to manage one’s impulses, emotions, and behaviors to achieve long-term goals—is what separates humans from the rest of the animal kingdom. Self-control is primarily rooted in the prefrontal cortex, the planning, problem-solving, and decision-making center of the brain—which is significantly larger in humans than in other mammals.

Willpower As a Finite Resource

The ability to exert self-control is often referred to as willpower. It allows people to direct their attention despite the presence of competing stimuli, and it underlies all kinds of achievement, from school to the workplace. It benefits relationships as well.
There is significant debate in science as to whether willpower is a finite resource. Some studies indicate that exercising willpower makes demands on mental energy. This concept, called ego depletion, is one possible explanation for why individuals are more apt to reach for a chocolate chip cookie when they’re feeling overworked.

Recently, however, scientists have failed to replicate some of the studies underlying the concept of ego depletion. A better understanding of why individuals give in to some impulses—but can successfully resist others—is critical for helping people who suffer from addictive behaviors, impulsivity, and eating disorders. If you want to know more about self-control, you must also know about the marshmallow Experiment.
Watch this video to know more about self-control – https://youtu.be/47QqimEm1DQ


Self-discipline appears in various forms, such as perseverance, restraint, endurance, thinking before acting, finishing what you start doing, and the ability to carry out one’s decisions and plans, despite the inconvenience, hardships, or obstacles.
The term self-discipline often causes some discomfort and resistance, due to the erroneous notion that it is something unpleasant, difficult to attain, and which requires a lot of effort and sacrifice. Actually, exercising and attaining self-discipline can be fun, does not require strenuous efforts, and the benefits are great. True self-discipline is not a punitive or restrictive lifestyle as some people think, and it has nothing to do with being narrow-minded or living like a fakir. It is the expression of inner strength and staying power, which are vital for dealing with the affairs of daily life and for the achieving of goals.

Self-discipline, together with willpower, can help you overcome laziness, procrastination, and indecisiveness. These skills make it possible to take action and persevere with it, even if the action is unpleasant and requires effort. Self-discipline enables you to exercise moderation in what you do, become more patient, tolerant, understanding, and considerate. In addition, it helps you withstand external pressure and influence. A self-disciplined person is more punctual than others and invests more time and effort in what he or she does. A self-disciplined person is more likely to take control of his or her life, set goals, and take concrete steps to achieve them.

Self-discipline is well portrayed in the story about the rabbit and the turtle, who conducted a race between themselves. The rabbit knew that he was faster, so he allowed himself to take a nap in the middle of the race. At the same time, the turtle plodded along, but with willpower and self-discipline, it eventually managed to arrive first to the finish line.

With self-discipline, you can finish what you start doing.

Watch this video to know more about self-discipline – https://youtu.be/VyOGUS7C7DU


According to me, there are 4 aspects of our ‘self’ on which we must focus to improve ourselves:

1. Physical Health

Physical health represents one dimension of total well-being. The term refers to the state of your physical body and how well it’s operating. Active Lifestyle – Being active throughout the day, not just when you’re working out. Healthy Diet – Eating and drinking a balanced diet to fuel your body. Hygiene and Disease Prevention – Keeping your body clean & free of disease by doing things like brushing your teeth, sleeping 8+ hours, and drinking lots of water. Physical Fitness – Intentionally strengthening your physical body by working out.

2. Mental Health

Mental health refers to your emotional and psychological well-being. Having good mental health helps you lead a relatively happy and healthy life. It helps you demonstrate resilience and the ability to cope in the face of life’s adversities.
Your mental health can be influenced by a variety of factors, including life events or even your genetics. Many strategies can help you establish and keep good mental health. These can include:

  • keeping a positive attitude
  • staying physically active
  • helping other people
  • getting enough sleep
  • eating a healthy diet
  • asking for professional help with your mental health if you need it
  • socializing with people whom you enjoy spending time with
  • forming and using effective coping skills to deal with your problems

3. Wealth

Many of us dream of wealth in times of desperation, especially when experiencing a lack of money. Many of us dream of wealth just because it makes us feel good at that moment, it allows us to feel the joyous sensation of being wealthy when our dreams and desires become reality in our minds.

However, others have no desire for wealth at all, they say that wealth is not important, we don’t need wealth, we are fine with what we have. Unfortunately, we live on a planet that is ever-changing socially and economically and money is the main currency for the trade of goods and services that we need to maintain our lifestyle, and in some cases to survive.

Never underestimate the power of wealth. Wealth gives you the power to live the lifestyle that you truly want, not a lifestyle that you are forced into. It doesn’t matter if you desire to live in extravagance with a multi-million-dollar lifestyle or if you choose to live a life of basic living. You still need wealth to acquire and maintain an optimum lifestyle for you and your family.

4. Relationships

Healthy relationships are a vital component of health and wellbeing. There is compelling evidence that strong relationships contribute to a long, healthy, and happy life. Conversely, the health risks from being alone or isolated in one’s life are comparable to the risks associated with cigarette smoking, blood pressure, and obesity.
Research shows that healthy relationships can help you:

Live longer

A review of 148 studies found that people with strong social relationships are 50% less likely to die prematurely. Similarly, Dan Buettner’s Blue Zones research calculates that committing to a life partner can add 3 years to life expectancy (Researchers Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler have found that men’s life expectancy benefits from marriage more than women’s do.)

Deal with stress

The support offered by a caring friend can provide a buffer against the effects of stress. In a study of over 100 people, researchers found that people who completed a stressful task experienced a faster recovery when they were reminded of people with whom they had strong relationships. (Those who were reminded of stressful relationships, on the other hand, experienced even more stress and higher blood pressure.)

Be healthier

Research indicates that strong relationships contribute to health at any age. According to research by psychologist Sheldon Cohen, college students who reported having strong relationships were half as likely to catch a common cold when exposed to the virus, while an AARP study with older adults found that loneliness is a significant predictor of poor health. More generally, a 2012 international Gallup poll found that people who feel they have friends and family to count on are generally more satisfied with their personal health than people who feel isolated. 
Watch this video to know more about self-development – https://youtu.be/SqqBByNGVEQ
Must read – Last Bite of the Apple

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Thank you – Naman khodiyar

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